i fucked up big and neeed help!

Guys… The reason I got into the game was for who I thought and still think to this day is the one. No girl on earth. And not even the best PUA in the world could tell me different. There’s so much to even being to explain about our relationship and the cat and mouse game we have played. Saturday we went to a party my ex was there who I had broken up with 3 day prior… So I’m at this party.. I am a new comer to the game.. Learned about the Mystery Method for 4 months now and have finally started applying it in my life for almost 2… Honestly my face would be ranked between 8-10 depending on the person its the reason I got into modeling in acting my body at the moment is a mere 7 I let myself go last year when my father past away 2 days after my birthday. Emotionally been fucked up trying to re-invent myself the ex… Who I’ve been in this cat and mouse game with is also a models.. HB10 I’d even go so far as to say 11.. She’s been gone for a year off at school. She’s finally moved back again. This is the only girl I’ve ever been in love with it was terrible I was so emotionally invested. She wasn’t again long story maybe left for another time….. Back to the party….we where both fkn trashed believe me though when I saw my game was at its best in a long time we ended up making out, outside my wing man comes and some how becomes a cock block! Asking me that he really need to go.. My ex takes my charm on my necklace puts it in her mouth and walks away with her friend who came out a little later after my wing…. I drop him off and look at my phone I had a text from her telling me she was sad that I left and to meet her later… That never ended up happening she ended up driving home I asked her to meet but she declined telling me she was to tired my dumb drunk assssss fkn started to show I was already emotionally invested and that our hook up ment something to me, no I loves yous and what not but I told her i didn’t want to kiss her cuz she’s sucks a great friend and fk fk fk I know stupid I don’t need you to tell me again well…. 2nd day comes around she tells me she can’t rembr anything from last night bull shit so I reply niether can I except that there was something tasty about it. We flirt and all that jazz. 2 day I refused to text her.. I got a text later she was asking how my day went blah blah blah I end up calling her we meet up that night… First part of the night pretty fun… Her dads my pastor lol she has a 15 year old sister who looks as if Angelina Jolie improved if you understand what I’m saying.. Well her parents where home reason why we went.. Was for sex… Its was so her fat ass could eat lol it was still fun running through the bushes together sneaking in with her sisters help and hiding in the closet. I couldn’t really make a move cuz she was eating the whole time even in the closet…any we had fun both of us had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. We go out and we went back to her place the night … Started off good till the tv went on I couldn’t fukn think of anything! Anything to be interesting I rembrd in styles book on page 46 about an exercise which was a mind reading type of pick up.. And even though I hadn’t studied it very well I thought I could pull it off it got her to turn off the tv and focus on me… I fkn blew it in my opinions she was still interested but I pulled it off like she wasn’t paying attention and I rolled off .. I also tried something I read in the game which was the ” whould you like me to kiss you” question yes no maybe all resulting in a form to responded she said no laughing and then nice try.. I had then been there for an hour and a half and nothing had happened… I said fk it Idk why but I rolled off my dad came to mind. I got distant and kept to myself. She ended up turning off the tv and asking me what’s wrong what am I thinking about was it something she did or said !?!?!? I threw a few negs and told her nah its about my. Past eventually told her it was my dad she said ohhh I figured I was done trying for the night I had work early in the morning so did she..said good night she gave me a quick kiss on the neck told her goodnight gave her a high five squeezed her hand she squeezed back and I was gone… Anything that could of didn’t every mistake I made pointed its finger in my face…when I got home.. I saw her sweater was on the back seat if she put it there on purpose or what idk? I see it as another chance to spend time with her… This was all last night I’m at work writing this sad pathetic story of a terrible night hoping some one will have pity and help me crawl out of this whole I dag myself in and be my guru to seducing the one girl I loved and never fkd…..